My last post was about how I was drafting a letter to send to Tyburn Convent. That letter is now written, signed and sealed and waiting for a stamp. I've lost my purse, hence the lack of stamps. But once I find it the letter will be stamped and send of. I'm excited but at the same time a little bit terrified. It's like this is the first big step I've made. It's one thing praying and thinking and writing about it, it's another thing entirely to contact a community and say "I think I'd like to join you one day". On some level it feels very invasive, me as this complete outsider trying to gain access to something so intimate. It does feel very strange writing to these complete strangers and wanting to be a part of their community. But I've found my purse so I can buy the stamps now!
I've got the joy in my vocation back. I think it's because I'm hoping to find a community that I like and that wants me and then I want my mother to visit it. I'd like her to be able to see the place I want to join and ideally even speak with one of the sisters. Obviously they can give a better explanation of their life and I am sure they'll have had sisters who had doubting parents before. I'm going to write to St. Cecilia's now as well, but that will have to wait until tomorrow.
I can't believe I've got a letter written and I'll send it hopefully tomorrow!
You are a very young woman and I would advise you not to become a nun yet. Your mind can change so much in your 20s! Do not make such a final decision this early.
ReplyDeleteA life of virginity and serving "god" is not natural!
While there are circumstances that mean I cannot enter for probably at least a year, I intend to enter as soon as possible. Even after entering as a postulant, it takes six years before committing to the life forever. So I have plenty of time to see whether the life is right for me.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry that you cannot see the beauty in the life, and clearly lack in faith. But I know what I am called to in life and I do not see the point in waiting.