"Why are you doing this?” asked a teaching colleague, as we sat at an outdoor cafe. “Because I love God.” “You love God that much?”I love God that much. So much that I want nothing more than to dedicate myself to Him entirely. I love Him more than I could ever have imagined was possible. I love Him above every other single thing on this earth. With every breath I take and every beat of my heart I love Him more and more. He is everything to me. I love Him so much I want everything to do to be for His glory and His service.
Lately I have been thinking a lot about the realities of religious life. Not in the sense that I have no done so before, but in the sense that I have been wondering about whether I will ever actually enter religious life. I truly believe I have a vocation to be a nun. I truly want to fulfil that vocation. The question in my mind has been whether I actually can fulfil that vocation. Not in the sense that I have an impediment as such, but in the sense that can I actually do all those little things that are required for one to fulfil a religious vocation. Sometimes I wonder if I can give up those little things, my books and my stuffed animals and being able to spend the day experimenting with baking different cakes. There are times when I doubt if I can do it.
This is where that love I just wrote about comes back in. I love God that much. When it comes to the crunch, I love God too much to ever say no to Him.
I was just reading (well, I was skimming) yesterday and saw this quote:
ReplyDelete"Offer yourself frequently to God and ask what God wants you to do. Do not worry about your strength. Rest assured that you will receive all that is necessary from the goodness of God."
-St. Louise de Marillac
The comfort in that quote touched something. I am not worthy. But why else would He have died? A doctor does not come to the healthy, but to the sick. But to come and call us, sinners, to be His bride... that just goes above and beyond everything else. (Sorry if I just waxed overly eloquent....)